Piece of fucking cake

Aren't these guys great? They threw this big fucking surprise party for me for my ninety first birthday. I went down to the War Room expecting that we were just going to invade some new shitty little country, and the lights were out, and then SURPRISE! Too bad Lynne couldn't be there but she'd gotten violent again and they had to keep her locked in the ward. But look at that fucking cake. They made it out of all these supplies that were supposed to be sent to a New Orleans homeless shelter. They just took 'em off the truck. Fucking right on. How much food do they need down there anyway? Rummy loaned me use his special sword to cut it. That's the one he stole from that museum in London. What a fucking guy. He and I go way back. And that sword is sharp. Shit, I cut myself before I even got to the cake. But I didn't let a little thing like blood on the floor stop me from celebrating. I never do.