No truth to the rumors

Some lying piece of shit out there is spreading a rumor that I am leaving my loving honey bunny Lynne for Amy Fisher just because we both like to, you know, shoot people in the face. Let me be very very very clear. This is not true. It is also not true that we met at a Shoot People In The Face support group and that we have a lot in common. We have only that one thing in common. And yes, okay, she is a hot hot hot little number, and yes, perhaps we have spent a little quiet time together at the shooting range. And yes, maybe we did cruise around a few gun shops, having a couple of laughs and then maybe a couple of drinks. But that's as far as it went. Anyway, she likes a pistol and I use a shotgun. Christ, I'm old enough to be her uncle. And what kind of man would leave his wonderful if doped up and tied up in a straitjacket wife for some hot gorgeous sharpshooting piece of Long Island pussy? I want these rumors stopped and I want them stopped now. Are we clear?