Santa kills nine, burns house--why the fuck didn't I think of that?

I am forever in fucking awe of the human capacity for simple creative genius and superb execution. And I use the term advisedly because how cool is it to blow away a fucking two year old when she's opening fucking presents. I am in the fucking presence of greatness. How did this moron come up with this spectacular idea? He's just sitting there on the fucking john and all of a sudden BINGO it comes to him?? I'll git me a Santa outfit and some accelerant and crash the bitch's Christmas Eve? Man. Am I impressed. I thought those Somali pirates had giant fucking balls. But this retard takes the fucking fruitcake. Now he may have a had an eensy misstep or two, given that the red suit melted and burned his fucking body to a crisp thereby slightly foiling his plan to getaway to Saskatewan or wherever the fuck he was heading. But give big Bruce a hand, ladles and germs. He the man. Whoa. Kill those little fuckers.