Yes, for christ's sake, I killed her. I did it. Get over it.

What do you want from me? The little bitch had it coming. She was gagging for it. She came down there into that basement, dressed in those little flannel pajama things, and what was I supposed to do? Fucking stand there? Give me a fucking break. I'm a red blooded US Male. I had to fuck her. And then strangle her. That's what we do. It's my right. Okay, okay, so she was six. Going on twenty six, if you know what I mean. That bitch was h-o-t. We all thought so. Donny, Mary, even that lawyer I shot in the face. We all fucked her. Not at the same time, of course. That would have been weird. Fucking a six year old while your lesbian daughter fucks her at the same time. Ewwww.

It's for your own fucking good

Well, actually, it has nothing to do with you. It's all about me, and making money and having power over everything. I don't give a fat fuck about you or your rights or your scabby children or your jobs or your mean little life. You will do what I say. What part of that don't you understand? Sit!

Face it, we're going to fucking jail. Not.

The second we're out of office, we're in jail. There's no fucking question that we're criminals. Is there one fucking law we haven't broken? I don't think so. We are heading for the lockup, little Junior and big Donny and me. Which is why we're not going to be leaving office. Do you seriously think there's going to be another election? How fuciking stupid are you? Remember that little event we had in 2004? The one where you thought you were voting? HA!. Does the word Diebold mean anything to you? You know that little company that makes the voting machines? Well, who do you think that little company works for? ME. And do you think the votes for the Democrats actually got counted? Give me a fucking break. Who do you think I am? We're not all as stupid as W, you know. So don't go wishing and hoping for a new wave of fresh faces in 2006 or 2008 or 2012, because it ain't fucking in the cards. We are here to stay.

House of the rising fucking smoke

Sometimes this guy takes my fucking breath away. He must have balls the size of FEMA trailers to go back down to New Orleans and try to get people to forget the absolute fucking catastrophic mess he made down there. Who exactly does he think he's talking to, when he makes his stumbling little speeches? He sure as shit isn't talking to anybody who lives there. And maybe he'd like to explain how he's cut the FEMA budget since then? I know because I did it. Junior doesn't know because he doesn't fucking know anything. He is the stupidest fucking asshole on the planet. He's so stupid, he doesn't even know bringing a lot of attention to New Orleans is a bad idea. Let's see. Let's just remind everyone how completely we fucked up in the most major visible way possible. Hmmm. Yessirree, good idea. Let's head south, boys and girls. Everybody on their bikes.

Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?

This is George Junior's other twin sister, the fun-loving Lady Exxon Texaco-Detritus of Grosse Point and Lubbock. She has oil money sloshing through her veins and she is determined to have a good time, no matter what bombs are going off or how many little people are being slaughtered, live on television. And nothing better get in her way. Exxie does not suffer from depression, let us say. Or thinking, or being conscious. She lives for booze and fucking, in either order. She's had four liver transplants, and god knows how much work done on that face. And you think she's ugly now? That cow would fuck a horse, if a horse would come near her.

I'm shit out of gas here, big fella. Ya'll give a girl a lift?

Oh, Christ, that's Junior's other fucking twin sister, Nozema Cracker McSlit, hooking her way down the highway. She still lives down there in fucking Texas somewhere, in that fancy doublewide with cable TV that Rove gave her to keep her quiet. Since she can't afford the price of gas anymore, she's having to hitchhike to her job at Walmart these days, and she's trying to make the trips pay off. I hear she gives good ride. That whole fucking family just loves to be on wheels. Personally, I think it's that mother. They're all trying to get away from that white haired old bitch as fast as they can. Makes sense to me.

Junior heading back to his home planet

Our Alien Mushmind in Chief is seen here about to board Flying Saucer One and head back to Planet Crawford or wherever the fuck he's from for another of his endless endless fucking vacations where he will clear brush and read Camus. I can't tell you how fucking tired I am of this arrogant useless moron. I regret the day I picked him to be our puppet president. Who knew he would turn out to be even fucking stupider than we bargained for. We thought he was just brain dead. We didn't know he was a super maxipad walking dead drooler. Should have known, with that mother.

No liquids or gels, boys. Are we clear?

Here's Junior's other twin sister Georginatina Lopez-Fineberg, who works as a masseuse at that new Steve Wynn hotel in Vegas, demonstrating how we'll need to be going through airport security from now on. When I say we, I mean, of course, you, not me, since I'll be on Air Force Two, swilling down the brewskys while you're stripping down to your socks and having your Brylcreem confiscated by retarded and clueless National Guardswomen. This is exactly what we've been waiting for, of course, so we could stop talking about that fucking loser in Connecticut and get down to some serious blame throwing and terror mongering. How about that new phrase "Islamic fascists"? You gotta love that. It's got that perfect blend of threat and meaninglessness that we strive for. And I do not, I repeat, fucking NOT, want anyone to bring up the fact that we've known about the threat of liquid explosives for years and instead of coming up with a screening machine that could deal with it, we've cut the funds to Homeland Security. And I do not, repeat NOT, want a word about the fact that it was the British secret service not the useless and fucked up CIA or NSA that found out about this dastardly plot. And I especially want nothing to be said about the fact that Georginatina's useless and fucked up brother is still on fucking vacation. When that retard wants to clear brush, nothing, not a massive nation destroying hurricane and certainly not a little airline destroying bomb plot, is going to stop him. We are talking deep back story.

The Lieberpussy has come home to roost

I can't remember what we promised to pay him. Do you? Wasn't that much, but he wasn't that useful. And now we're stuck with him, I suppose. He'll run as an Independent, which means throwing the race to us, so that'll help, I suppose. But I'm so sick of his whining and jewing. Can't he just shut up? Christ, what a weasel. Somebody throw him a towel or something.

You gotta love that freedom of the press horseshit

Look at Junior confronting the mad dogs in the Whitehouse pressroom. They sure look ready to attack, right? Drooling vicious motherfuckers, right? This is a crowd even Diptstick can handle, and believe me, he can barely handle tying his shoes in the morning. But who are these fucking jokers, anyway? THIS is what we're supposed to be afraid of? You think these loser weasel fucks question anything we say? You think they don't eat out of our fucking hand? If we didn't control these homely four eyed horses asses, how do you think we pulled off the war? And the torture, and Katrinaville, and Plame, and Halliburton? We say don't fucking talk about it. And they don't. Works for me.

Fidel Castro or Saddam Hussein or Mel Gibson, you decide

We are all brothers here. I'm just sitting back, watching the world go by. It's August, I'm fishing, I'm having a beer, I'm sticking my fingers up my granddaughter's twat, you know, I'm just hanging loose, and watching the news. Fox News, of course. And I'm reading about my old pal Fidel, and his pussy little operation. And I'm reading about my old pal Mel, and his pussy apologies because his series got cancelled. Come on, mate, get a grip. So the world knows now you're a fucking anti-Semitic bigot. Excuse me, we didn't already know this? We didn't notice your father's a fucking Holocaust denier? Are we fucking stupid? And of course, I read about my old friend Saddam, who now that he's eating again, is ready to be shot. Fat chance, as we say in middle America, chum. And I'm reading about Bolton, the anti diplomat, and dead babies and lordy, all kinds of shit. Who can remember, when it's ALL SO GOOD. We are just swimmin' in it, aren't we? How much better can it get?