Senators racing to the rescue

Don't you just love love love it when those useless fucking pigs in the Senate do the only thing they know how to do which is fucking absolutely nothing? For all their fucking talk about standing up to us, and the Defeatocrats whining and sniveling and those useless fucking Republican renegades like McWingnuts McCain and Chaffee, where are they when the chips are down? Heading to Big Daddy's tits for a slurp of good ole terror juice. So, yeah, you go, girls. Give us our daily torture. Give us our immunity. Give us our unlimited secret detention. Give us our cold rooms. Just give us what we fucking want, you fucking craven little pigs.

Pope Fucking Stupid IV

It's possible, I suppose, that he thought, since the speech was so incredibly fuckiing boring, that no one would notice that in the middle of it he was calling Islam a steaming pile of shit. I mean, that was probably his thinking, right? Or maybe he had our boy Georgie the Genius advising him. I don't fucking know. All I know is it's a great fucking distraction from the fight we're having with the godless traitors in Congress. The one thing I can't quite figure out is the Muslims are all crying because the Pope says they're violent and what do they do? They blow up churches and shoot some nuns. Excuse me? So how is he wrong, exactly?

He's our special boy

I do wonder sometimes what it would be like to work with a President who wasn't so fucking retarded. I swear to christ he has the brain of a fork. Now he's pissed off that Congress is refusing to go along with his torture campaign. Even Powell finally found his balls on this one. And that really got Georgie going. I thought he was going to fall out of his carseat. Luckily the straps held. Now if we could get him to stop drooling, we can let him hold another press conference.

Oh, honeybun, these'll look so nice in Air Force One for the ride home.

Here's Shithead and Mrs Shithead stealing flowers from the Ground Zero memorial on 9/11. You'd think they'd have enough flowers of their own, but nooooo, Mrs Killed her Teenaged Lover just had to have them. And Bushfuck does whatever his little Buttoncunt wants. You know who wears the chaps in that fucking family.

Look! There's a evil doer! Git it!

Yes, it's true that five years after the Japs attacked Pearl Harbor, we had beaten them and the Krauts and taken over two continents and set up the Marshall Plan and organized the War Crimes tribunal and generally saved the world. And exactly what have we accomplished in these little five years? Fucking not much. And you wonder why we haven't been able to do anything but fuck everything up and make it all much much worse? Look at who's leading the way. Junior Dipstick is calling the shots and every single one has been the wrong one. The miracle is we're not ALL dead, just those 2700 down in that stinking cesspool we created over there. So Happy Anniversary, everybody. Here's to five more oil soaked money laundered craven lying flooded crony corrupt years of Republican control. Fuck you.

Take a last look

I'm reclassifying this fucking photo tomorrow. Meaning I'm making it Classified. Meaning you will be arrested if you look at it. Meaning it doesn't exist. Meaning it didn't happen. Meaning Rumsfuck wasn't ever there. Meaning we never supported Saddam and never gave him billions of US taxpayer bucks and never ever shook his fucking hand. We never touched him, until, of course, we pulled him out of that fucking hole in the ground. The picture you are looking at isn't there. Got it?

It's in there somewhere, it's got to be

Oh. My. God. We joke that Wacko is so stupid he couldn't find his own dick but could we have been right all along? Has he just gone brain empty? Does he need help to EVERYTHING? And what the fuck is Turd Blossom doing? And wipe that smile off your face. This doesn't look good. This looks b-a-d. Do NOT let the retards see this picture. They'll get the wrong idea. Not that they're even fucking capable of having ideas, of course. But Jesus H Christ, how do I spin this into a happy Republican moment?

Yes, we have no secret prisons. Now.

Bushwacko is hiding in plain sight again, and doing his famous Big Weasel dance which always wows the fucking retards driving around in their RV's. No, we definitely do not have secret CIA torture prisons. None. Absolutely not. No way. And if we did, he didn't know anything about them. Just like he doesn't know anything about fucking anything, of fucking course. And maybe we did have a couple of secret torture jails but everyone got moved out of them yesterday so they're empty so what the fuck is the problem? And anyway so what? and fuck you. Get fucking Alberto on the phone.

Thank Christ those Japs finally got a son

Yessirree, here's a first look at that new crown prince or whatever the fuck you call it of Japan, even though everyone knows that Prince guy is a big fag so god knows where all these kids are coming from. What? No, wait, wrong picture. What? Give me a fucking break. That's the Cruise kid? You're shitting me. That kid is Asian. Look at it. Is Cruise Asian? Is he human? Is he a fucking midget nutter is a better question. We're supposed to believe that kid is his? Are we fucking stupid?

What a kidder that fucking Irwin was

I'm sorry we had to fucking eliminate Big Steve. That sting ray story was fucking pathetic but it was the best we could come up with on short notice. Another convenient cardiac arrest. Right. But he was about to go public with the truth about the Halliburton crocodile plan for invading Iran and we had to shut him up fast. The last thing I needed is for that news to get out before we drop those crocs all over Tehran. It was a brillliant idea that Roveski came up with, particularly since we don't have any bombs left, and only a couple of planes. All it needs is a few low flying B-52's. Irwin was our consultant but got cold feet at the last minute. Very cold fucking feet, I would say. At least now. HA! He was a laugh riot, that guy. And I loved how he'd fuck around. Check out this shot, to see what I mean. Feeding babies to the sharks--christ, that guy was a hero to me.

There are none so blind as those who will not resign

It just might be time for the Donster to hit the highway. He's a stuborn old son of a bitch, and god knows he's been good for more than a couple of laughs, but I think maybe now that everyone on earth knows that he's fucked up so completely the entire planet is in jeopardy of blowing up, it's possible that Junior Asswipe might have to accept his resignation. Someone's got to take the fall. And he's up first in that fucking line.