Dwarf liberal beloved fuck, "dead" at 83

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so everybody fucking loved him, so he made good popcorn and drove a fucking race car and had oscars coming out of his ass, and everybody wanted to fuck him until about four years ago when he was fucking two hundred years old. So fucking what. He was a liberal shit, "giving money to charity"--goodie fucking two shoes, if you ask me. Oooh, oooh, kids with cancer. Oooh, give 'em some salad dressing--that'll fix 'em right up. Makes me puke, all this giving back to the poor. Give me a fucking break. What's he trying to prove anyway? Fuck him. And fuck Connecticut and fuck you.

Oh my fucking fucking christ

We are totally absofuckinglutely fucked. What was Walnuts smoking? Did he even meet this bitch before they dragged her out of the fucking igloo to run for Vice? Fuck. And did you catch that interview with Couric? She couldn't put three words together in a fucking row. She called fucking Henry Kissinger naive. He's about as naive as a nuclear submarine. Kissinger's farts are more articulate than she is. Okay, she's a pretty good liar, I'll give you that, but that's not the ENTIRE job. Most of it, yes, but not the whole thing. Occasionally you have to actually make a LITTLE sense. Christ on a fucking stick. Jesus in the oven. She even makes Lieberman look good. Fuck, she makes Huckabee look like a fucking statesman. Shit shit shit. This twee fucking little cunt is NOT getting my job. I am stopping this, right here, right now. Read my blubbery fucking lips.

Homo Hank dresses for success

I've tried to keep a low profile as the economy fell into the shitter, but there's only so much undisclosed fucking vacation a person can take. We have a couple months left in the calendar, and let's not let the entire fucking thing explode. I know we said everything was fine until about four minutes ago, and now we're saying life as we know it will end, but trust us--we're the people who brought you Iraq. We KNOW what we're doing. And Hankie, as we call him, in that lovely brocade night wrap, is just the fellow to lead us out of this twisted Democratic jungle. Hankie has been in the trenches. Hell, he's been fucked in the trenches, lots of times. Hankie LOVES the trenches. Throw him in a trench, he's happy as fuck. You should hear him.

Eeeny meeeny miney mo-retarded, who's retardest of them all?

What the fucking hell is going on? Even I, Dick Shut the Fuck Up Cheney, have some limits. Are you watching that fucking convention? Is there anyone in that hall who isn't retarded? Jesus Fucking Retarded Christ! Are they joking? Standing ovation for her fucking moron snowmobiling oil drinking husband? Celebrating--CELEBRATING--her slut whore simpleton daughter and her half wit dick enhanced skater boyfriend? Has the world gone nuts? Am I in a fucking dream world here? She's an aerial wolf-shooting govern-NESS of a state with fewer people in it than the Abercrombie and Fitch store on Fifth Avenue. This qualifies her? For MY job???? I fucking don't think so. Does she know how to kill PEOPLE? Anyfuckingbody can kill a fucking moose. They just stand there, big as a house, and wait for you. You know how hard it is to shoot a lawyer? When you're drunker than shit? And in the FACE? That takes more than grit. And it takes more than a second runner up tiara, toots. Get yourself back to the tundra, cuntface. You are wasting my time. And you are NOT getting my job. Didn't anybody tell you? I'm stayin'.