The Slutpigs get renditioned back to US

Can you believe those stupid fucking twins? Their Moron in Chief father is on the ropes, wearing a fucking dress in Hanoi, and Iraq is such deep shit even NBC is calling it a civil war, and they go running naked in the streets of Bueno Aires and get kicked out of the cuntry. It's enough to make you believe in the draft. It's not bad enough that the Secret fucking Service is falling apart and lets people steal the girls' cell phones and manbags or that they end up getting fucking killed in Hawaii. Hawaii, for fuck's sake. Who the fuck gets killed in Hawaii. It's not exactly a high crime zone. What the fuck is going on? And me? I'm in an undisclosed location. I'll give you a hint. It ain't fucking Hawaii.

I'm nominating him for the Halliburton board

Personally, I'm going to miss seeing that Fox special on my old friend OJ. I always thought he was so fucking cool. You know, cutting off his wife's head and running away live on national television and then beating the rap. We could use a guy like that at Halliburton. Shit, we could use a guy like that as Secretary of Defense. But even I probably couldn't pull that one off. Now that RumDum has had his sword pushed up his ass, we're going to have to pretend to be minding the business for a month or two. As fucking if.

We may have lost the election, but get a fucking grip, asshole

I leave town for my undisclosed location for a fucking week and look what fucking happens. Is this a christless homo nightmare or what? Did I say, go to Vietnam and dress like a fucking woman clown? Did I tell him to do that? Did I say, stand next to Putin who's also dressed like a fucking female fucking clown? I know we lost that fucking war, but how far do we need to go? How fucking stupid is this moron? Look who I'm asking. You're so stupid, you're reading this fucking blog. And where's fucking CondofuckingLeeza while all this crossdressing is going on? Over at the piano tuner's, geting reamed by a Vietcong terrorist, no fucking doubt. This only goes to show how pivotal I am to the whole fucking show. Fuck you, James Baker. And fuck you, Forty One. I the Man. Clown dress or no clown dress.

Undisclosed location, my ass

They aren't supposed to undisclose it to ME, for christ's sake. Where the fuck am I? All I know is it's fucking cold. And I don't have a phone. And I can't watch Fox News because there's no fucking television. And everybody here speaks fucking Russian. What the fuck is going on?

Shit shit shit shit shit shit

I thought ole Macaca was going to hang in there and save the Senate for us. SHIT. Well, all it means is it'll just take a little longer to for us to screw things up. We'll have to work around Pelogisicunt and Reidfuck. But we can still do it. I have my ways. Trust me. Fuck you.

He'll always be a Superhero to me

Rummerdummer is my rock, my touchstone, my guiding light, my mentor, my heart, my love, my loverboy. I am distraught. Well, as distraught as I get. Which isn't all that fucking distraught. I'm in an undisclosed location and I am making a plan. If you think this election is gonna change anything, your head is so far up your ass you could watch Fox News out your mouth. Sure, we got rid of my Donnykins, but we knew that was coming. The fucking Dementocrats are so fucking useless, they won't get it together to stand up to us even when they have a majority, so what's the problem? We'll just roll right over them. And you know Rumrunner isn't going anywhere, anyway. Not really. He's coming over to my undisclosed location. He's here now. Hi, big guy. That a tiny terrorist in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

I don't know what these morons think they're doing

but it doesn't make one fucking bit of difference to me. Terrorists make have taken the House but guess who breaks a tie in the Senate? Little ole me, motherfuckers, little ole me. So we are still running this fucking shithole of a country and there's nothing you can do about it. You know why? Because fucking pageboys on the Senate floor, or bitchslappping the country into bankruptcy, or destroying the environment or making the biggest pile shit in the Middle East that ever existed--nothing matters with our dearly beloved Republicans. Can you fucking believe that 40% of the voters STILL think we're doing a good job??? These people are brain dead. And we love 'em. They the man.

Run away, run away!

So Bushtwat can't find anyone to campaign for. Nobody wants his picture took with a Lame Duckshit. He should do what I'm doing--go hunting. Forget about the election. It's not like it's going to make any fucking difference. Does he really worry that Niebolt is going to let us down and actually count the votes? Give me a fucking break. As if the fucking Democreeps could get their feet out of their mouths long enough to really get people to vote for them. Even with all gay shitstorm and the war in the toilet and our massive global totalitarian incompetence on full display, they're STILL voting for us, that rugged band of brain damaged neo-humanoid fuckwits we pandy to. How can you get beat when you've got the fucking lowest common denominators solidly behind you? And anyway, even if the impossible were to happen and we lost the House and the Senate, we'll just pardon hourselves, so what's the big deal. Relax, Georgio. Let's go shoot us some lawyers.